I am an invisible, breastfeeding, hysterical, rape obsessed,
feminazi who isn’t a “real” feminist, with a chip on my shoulder and a skewed
body image. At least I think that’s
right. It’s a bit hard to tell sometimes
and frankly lately I am more than a little confused. Come to think of it, I sound a bit like that
hideous new Kia ad. Currently I have no
idea who or what I am because the media is sending me more mixed signals than a 23-year-old commitment-phobic guy. I am clearly not
a "woman of now", whatever the fuck that means.
There are articles telling me that I am apparently invisible
because I am close to 50. Yet today I
have on a very basic summer dress (bought at daggy old Millers for $13. I know, right? $13! Bargain.
High five!) and I got a wink in the
street from a bloke, and an out and out perve from a young guy in a ute,
so clearly I am not invisible (and not a covergirl either - a healthy size 16 with big curves). And the
fact that I actually felt really good about this appreciation (and not in a
pathetically grateful way either, in an entirely deserved "yeah, I am looking
pretty good today" kind of way) apparently in some quarters would also
mark me out as not being a “real” feminist because apparently to be a real
feminist you have to reject the patriarchy in ALL THE THINGS. And I do not. So sue me, sisters.
I don’t deny that the superpower of invisibility certainly
does creep up on a woman as she gets older but I can’t help but wonder if this
latest reminder is just another media dig, because ladies, we need constant
reminding that we are ageing don’t we, because if we should forget it then an
entire massive industry breaks down and civilisation as we know it will grind to a
halt. And we can’t be having that. You're getting old, right? So don't you dare forget it!
I went searching for a picture of an invisible woman to
illustrate this post and all I could find was this (using the search term "invisible woman")
Is it just me or does she not look particularly
invisible? Not just me? Good.
So then I went searching for a picture using the search term
"middle-aged woman" and I hit paydirt. Go on, do a Google image search using that
term and you will see hundreds of pictures of gorgeous women who are not 25 or
30 or 35, possibly not even 40. They are
older and they are most certainly not invisible. So just who is telling us that we are
invisible in society? I don't have any
trouble getting served in shops, and if I do it is more likely because I am only
5’ 1” and not because of my age. I have a
spent a goodly portion of my adult life on tiptoes waving my hand in the air like
an extra from the What About Me film clip so I am noticed in a crowded bar or
shop. It's height, not age, that makes me hard to see!
Don't get me wrong, I know how to be invisible. I perfected that superpower some time ago. I simply go out in trakkies and a manky t-shirt, with unwashed, pulled-up hair and old trainers, I keep my head down and don't make eye contact with anyone and I create an aura of "don't even think about speaking to me". Very effective. And when I don't feel like wearing the cloak of invisibility, I don't. And I don't do anything different (the clothing was a red herring!) other than to have my head up and make eye contact with people. I am a random smiler at people too. This alone is a guarantee against invisibility if you're concerned that you may be disappearing from view.
Trust me, you're not and bugger the meedja who tells you that you are.
And breastfeeding.
TITS! What century are we living in that this is still even a thing discussed
in the public square? That a dinosaur (his
own word) like David Koch on the execrable breakfast television show Sunrise should
purse his lips in a prim little moue of disgust as he urges breastfeeding
mothers to be discreet in 2013 says as much about who is on our television
screens as it does about attitudes (speaking of outdated and irrelevant).
Discreet is a funny word. Like
art, I believe discretion is entirely subjective. One person's discretion is another’s flagrant
flaunt. I know that when I breastfed my
son (from birth to 13 months), I often did so in public and every time I did, I
tore my top off so I was entirely naked from the waist up and everyone around
me was in no doubt whatsoever as to what I was doing. In fact if people did not notice that I was
breastfeeding, I would go right up to them and thrust my boobs and babe into
their faces to make damned well sure that they did.
No wait. That never
happened. That never happens. That's the prude's fantasy. No breastfeeding mother ever does that. Yet men like David Koch, and women (oh yes,
there are women who still hold the quaint view that breastfeeding is something
to be hidden away, something to be just a little bit ashamed of) like Pru Goward
tell women that they must "be discreet", whatever that means in their
Little Johnny Howard 1950s utopian world.
Funny how boobs are so revered in our culture yet attach a
baby to one and they suddenly become disgusting. Wouldn’t Freud have a field day with that!
Discretion be buggered. Breastfeed your babies anywhere and any time you need to. You don't need anyone to tell you to 'be discreet'. You need to tell them to STFU.
Yep, I think that pretty much covers it. Any questions?
