If you have been following this blog (and quite frankly, why wouldn't you?), you would know that I last had a period in around April of 2012.
I have been getting quite excited (and by excited I mean vaguely depressed) at the approaching 12 month point which would apparently mark the moment I truly entered The Big M. Supposedly going 12 months without a period is the milestone you need to reach in order to truly claim membership to Club Menopause.
So there I was with only a few months to go when what should happen yesterday? A period arrives. Well hello there, red stranger! I remember you and I never thought I'd see you again. But here you are, bigger and bloodier than ever.
It's like getting the band back together. All the old crew are here: the bloating, the scraped-out-with-a-spatula-from-the-inside feeling, the sudden twinges of pain, and of course the blood. Copious amounts of it.
Lucky I bought two packets of Poise pads last week. Except that I bought them because I've been coughing continuously since New Year's Day after a bout of bronchitis (yes, I've been to the doctor, he says it will just run its course, thanks Mum) and my poor pelvic floor just can't cope and lets me know in no uncertain terms...let us speak no more about that other than to say that I'm way too young and fabulous to be smelling of wee just yet. I'll save that particular delight for my extreme old age if you don't mind.
So now I have to ride the red horse until it leaves town then start counting again.